Narratives Don’t Make Us Who We Are: This Is for Us to Decide.

Who and What Are the Narratives Telling Us?

Some people you meet on a daily basis could become your best friends, and you’d be surprised by how they see themselves—often very differently from how you see them.

The idea of a person being shaped into a mold is terrifying. Sometimes, parents, teachers, or even trusted people around you keep calling you chaotic, loud, introverted, and so on until you start believing these labels about yourself. You might even begin to tell that story, even when it doesn’t truly describe who you are.

There may be reasons why you acted in a certain way on certain occasions, but that doesn’t mean it defines the real you.

Telling the Difference Between Narratives and Truth:

So, what I’m talking about today is how to differentiate between the narratives that tell us who we are and what we believe is truthful about ourselves.

Why is it important to acknowledge our true selves and make sure we don’t repeat the stories told about us?

It matters because these narratives can create a gap between how you see yourself and your willingness to grow.

For example, if someone tells you that you’re not a good listener, even though you actually are, you might start to believe it. Eventually, you might become convinced that you can’t listen, and when someone asks you, “What might be your weakness?” you might respond, “I’m not a good listener.” This means you could end up trying to gain a skill you already possess, while neglecting a different area where you truly need to grow.

Transitioning from the “Image” to Your “Authentic Self”:

Let’s refer to the real you as your “Authentic Self,” and the version shaped by others’ opinions as the “Image.”

If we’re going to talk about the journey from the “Image” to your “Authentic Self,” you need to realize the importance of showing up as your true self.

This requires acceptance, resilience, and forgiveness.

Saying “NO” to yourself is just as important as saying “YES.”

When you show up authentically, you don’t have to say yes just to be liked by society or give in to peer pressure. You can grant yourself the compassion and acceptance to do things your way without feeling selfish or like a “buzzkill.”

The Importance of Self-Compassion:

You can give yourself feedback and reflect on your actions, but that doesn’t mean calling yourself names or using harsh words that would hurt anyone who hears them.

Instead of saying, “That was stupid,” try saying, “I will nail it next time; I just need to do [whatever it is] better next time.”

Show yourself the same kindness and acceptance you would show a dear friend. This self-compassion will help you build a more positive and supportive relationship with yourself.

Final Thoughts

Recognizing that our needs are just as important as the needs of others is vital. Taking time to rest is essential. Celebrating the little things that matter to us creates a safe space within ourselves that lets us know we are good people.

Everyone is flawed—that’s just human nature. But showing up with your flaws and accepting them doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love and acceptance.

Resources:

Five Steps for embracing your authentic self.

Extra resources:

Book: The gifts of imperfection – By: Brené Brown