Taking control of your decisions: Overcoming Fear of change and Embracing New Beginnings

Coping with Change:

Change is the only constant in life. No one can guarantee that things will stay the same forever, and that includes ourselves—we grow, evolve, and so do our circumstances.

People come and go. Dreams shift. The things we thought we once wanted might not remain the same. So, how do we deal with that?

The truth is, change itself isn’t necessarily scary or bad. What makes change daunting is the uncertainty it brings. When we don’t know if what’s coming is better or worse than what we have now, we naturally feel anxious. The unknown is what makes us cling to the familiar, even if we’re unhappy with it. For example, if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel fulfilling, you might stay out of fear of the unknown. Some people prefer the discomfort they know over the uncertainty of leaving. Some might think that if they end this unhealthy relationship, they might end up lonely, blaming themselves for the breakup. Others might be afraid that they’ll never find love again, even though they aren’t happy in their current relationship. At least, for them, it feels familiar and safe.

But this can lead to misery. You might begin accepting things you never would have tolerated before, and in the process, lose sight of who you are. It drains your energy and can ultimately alter your sense of self.

However, when we start considering the consequences of staying in an unhealthy situation—whether it’s a relationship or a job—change no longer feels as frightening.

The key to moving forward is accepting that change is inevitable. Once we understand this, we can start learning how to cope with it. As life unfolds, the real challenge is not to fear change but to face it with resilience and openness.

What to do when things change?

1. Pause and assess the situation

When change comes, it’s essential to pause and ask yourself what you can expect in the near future. Although things may feel uncertain, there are often some predictable outcomes. For instance, if you leave your current job to search for something more fulfilling, you might anticipate a period without a steady income.

By anticipating these effects, you can better prepare yourself and those around you for the impact of change. This applies to situations where you have some control over the change, but what about when things happen outside your control? That’s a topic for another post.

2. Hold onto what matters during change

It’s important to remember why you’re making the change in the first place. Take the example of someone leaving an unhealthy relationship. They’re doing so to protect their happiness and mental well-being. It’s crucial not to lose that sense of purpose amidst the difficulties that follow the breakup.

Keep what truly matters in sight, so you don’t lose track of your values during times of transition.

3. Give yourself time to heal

Often, the best approach is to let life unfold naturally. If you’ve just ended a relationship, resist the urge to jump into something new right away. Take the time to heal and come to terms with your own emotions. When you’re ready, the next opportunity or person will find you—it won’t need to be forced.

Whether you’re traveling to discover more about yourself or moving forward from a difficult chapter, it’s the little things that will reveal what you truly value. Don’t rush the process; let it come to you as you grow.

Conclusion: Reach out for support:

If you’re navigating the changes in your life or feel the need to make a change but don’t know where to start, you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out if you need support with the changes happening in your life, or if you’re ready to take that first step toward the change you need. Whether it’s relationships, career, or personal growth, having the right guidance can make all the difference.

Resources:

Beckhard’s Formula of Change serves as a practical application of this post. I created this exercise based on the formula, explaining what is it, how it works, and guiding you through a step-by-step journey to utilize it in any upcoming changes you need to make in your life and how to process them:

Exercise: Beckhard’s Formula of Change

Books:

1. “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes” by William Bridges
   This book explores the psychological process of dealing with transitions and provides practical advice on managing change.
2. “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
   Focuses on living in the present moment and letting go of anxiety about change and the future